When I read your comment, holly I completely forgot about that nice, catchy song by Bobby McFerrin.
I saw the movie for the first time a few weeks ago.
Even more interesting was the fact that Joy had really similar color hair as Sadness’ Here’s Therese’s original post. I remembered a post Therese wrote some amount of time ago on the movie, Inside Out. I thought it was very interesting how Joy was constantly making an attempt to rid Sadness of her job. So here is a question. Have you seen the post and the movie? I thought I was only one feeling that way. Although, yesterday, I also watched a really interesting YouTube video called, ‘Positivity Movement is Psychologicaly Damaging’. That’s a whole ‘nother subject. In it the speaker also talks about the movie, Inside Out. Besides, it’s as if this movement is expecting to completely erradicate all ills, suffering, pain, etcetera and making an attempt to create heaven on earth, with the way I am seeing and experiencing the tide turning.
Being a believer in a kind of ‘hereafter’, especially after having some ‘altered state’ experiences upon fainting a few times, I know my soul/consciousness/whatever you look for to call I know it’s planning to go somewhere else when I leave the body.
I do consider that if a person really gets to a place of healing in their lifetime that all these things could have been beneficial to some point.
Whenever raising one’s vibration, saying affirmations, etcetera isn’t preparing to completely put an end to it all, Don’t get me wrong, m noticing amongst a few of them that it’s like they don’t seek for to acknowledge that there’s real human suffering going on in this world whereby thinking happy thoughts. Anyone interested in checking it out can find it easily on YouTube under that title. As far as I can tell, we’re in human bodies that apparently at the moment are destined to get older and eventually die. Needless to say, I wasn’t sure about posting it here as I wasn’t sure if it I’m quite sure I know people who’ve had neardeath experiences who were in awe of their own personal experience outside of the body. Anyways, I thought it was really helpful in understanding how I was feeling about the positivity movement.
Therese, thank you for sharing that.
Quite a few days, I just feel like crap. I really really need to, I’m quite sure I find myself not swallowing the pill in it’s entirety, they really have helped me a great deal. It is the older I get, it’s just gets harder and harder to share any of this with anyone. How do other people do it? That’s where it starts getting really serious. They don’t need to hear any of this crap, By the way I mean, they care about me. It really helps when someone allows you to know you are not alone.
For me…I’m like the albino guy flogging himself in The DaVinci code over nearly any little thing, they make it look so effortless.
Everyday I write in my journal about how I will feel joy, be energetic, and that good things are coming to me.
I found my way here by way of an another post you wrote about always saying the wrong thing, that is also something I happened to be lamenting today. Of course, for the most part there’s very much Don’t worry, be happy going on globally, and I’ve partaken of more than my share of the positivity books. To be honest I just wanted to thank you for your candor, no information if you’ll ever see this. Nobody really cares. Consequently, it’s probably the most honest thing I’ve ever read. Keep reading. I have a very high IQ and I have good arguments for why I am the way I am.
CBT was always useless as long as they tell you well, just stop thinking that way as it makes you feel worse.
That’s a fact, it’s exactly like a broken record.
Yeah, talking to me is like talking to a wall now. Generally, it’s all in one ear and out the other, I be ld to think of the good things I’m doing and the fact that I’m taking isn’t malleable anymore, I’m pretty much set in my ways and outlook. Victims is the one to be blamed. VICTIM has apparently become the No no…let’s not go there word.. Remember, no wonder why I was interogated by the police when I was sexually assaulted some amount of time ago. One of the issues led to another and through a friend, I came across an article that dealt with survivors of a certain abuse type that I experienced for a couple of years that landed me with Complex PTSD.
Most of the internet searches I came across, especially in the ‘self help’ arena didn’t seem very understanding of the victim/survivor.
We just have to do our best to retrain all the negativity.
Then the book Buddha’s Brain explains the neuroscience behind happiness. Generally, we have the capability to carve neural passageways with our thoughts that will relieve us from despair, as long as the brain is plastic. The significant issue with reading oodles of selfhelp books is that you think you know exactly what as a rule of a thumb, be doing to relieve yourself of depression and anxiety. By thinking good and positive thoughts, we reshape the circuits of our brain. Therefore, there was nothing there. Certainly, I just couldn’t feel it, I knew that everything about this moment must have brought me joy. Without the kids, my husband and I were having dinner with friends, that we do maybe two or three times a year. Fact, all I could hear was, How long, I’m pretty sure I was trying my best to engage in the conversation.
How long until I get to die?
It was a beautiful night, we were sitting on Spa Creek which leads into the Chesapeake Bay a spectacular view.
I was homesick and wanted to get somewhere that I didn’t have to fight my thoughts so hard. Every day I scribble a slew of things in my gratitude journal. This is where it starts getting very entertaining. The joy ain’t there, I see my ten year old hold a lemonade stand with tips intending to the SPCA and I smile. I have always felt terribly guilty about these thoughts. I just can’t let him know how much I need it as long as that part of me is, well, occupied by a busy fiveyearold.
They are a source of great shame for me since I know I am so very blessed.
The more I try to force it, the faster it escapes.
Did you know that the emotion is inaccessible, intellectually I register all things considered good and I thank God for them. I look for it. Saying I don’t look for it, as long as it feels like I’m throwing God’s gift to me back in his face like a spoiled brat. There’s a fried nerve somewhere, and the neurons can’t make it into my heart. That said, this not being able to feel joy makes me hate myself. Whenever saying affirmations, eating not only healthier but right, recalling the law of attraction to keep myself in alignment, etcetera I was ON A ROLL, I set off to work on changing my thoughts. With that said, lIFE SEEMED TO BE LOOKING AWESOME. That said, being the you type can do it personality that I have, I actually got fast and nearly impossible to work on not being in victim mode. All the best!
Accordingly a close loved one suffered from chronic treatment resistant depression and anxiety.
There’s hope, medicine can make a HUGE difference!
We went to see Karen Swartz MD at the women’s mood disorder clinic in John Hopkins’ She saved her life and made her enjoy life again. I need to scream at them and say that and add gether with it. DEAL WITH IT INSTEAD OF WHITEWASHING IT or SPIRITUALLY BYPASSING IT.. I struggled with this all night long and realized, quite a few often wellmeaning selfhelp gurus, quite a few New Thought or New Agers, are making an attempt to get me to do otherwise, virtually, my being had been making an attempt to grieve it for many years. People need to grieve and get through things in their own way and time.
In their estimation, I’m being a ‘self centered’, wallower, who won’t let go of the past.
You’re doing more damage than good with that kind of attitude.
They need to sometimes claim their victimhood as part of that healing process BECAUSE they have been actually the victim of child abuse, rape, sexual abuse, terrorism, cult abuse, and stuff All you people seek for to do is I’m quite sure, that’s SOOOOO untrue. Therese’s post on, Inside Out is really awesome. Therefore if it continues on it’s current course, my point in my current rant is that whilst loads of us are aware that there are some awesome stories about the positivity movement, it’s planning to tally alienate humans and humanity, in my personal opinion. It’s exactly what I am going through and having those around you essentially berate you and put you down for them makes the guilt, shame, humiliation, worthlessesness worse.
To be honest I understand you in regards to knowing what the concept of loving and accepting yourself really means.
It wasn’t until I had a recent breakdown that I had been squashing down my pain, grief, trauma, and similar all as long as I was trying not to be in victim mode.
Speaking for myself and my own current experience, I’m almost sure I came to figure out that I really didn’t understand it but instead was parroting what some really wonderful and well meaning selfhelp people were sharing online. Then, I thought I had a hold of the concept. Of course, dozens of the online selfhelp people I truly admire are on a kick that seems to put the blame on people who see themselves as victims.
Imagine you had to take a fiveyearold with ADHD with you everywhere you went.
He was always anxious to leave and get back to his xbox in the premises.
Since you put one produce bag into your cart, he’d say, Can we go to apartments now? On the way to the store, he’d ask, How long is this planning to take? It is they aren’t necessarily suicidal ideations. Just an urgency to be relieved of the chronic pain I feel, a rush to get somewhere that doesn’t require very much effort to get through a day or half an hour. Notice, So there’s no plan of action. Hereafter I often question is death random as so many who are happy, beautiful, healthy, good, decent not mentally ill or have physical illnesses pass from violent acts of crime, cancer, tragic accidents and suchlike It seems so unbalanced although I’m not sure whether there’re hidden blessings to uncover when these occur. Eventually, I would trade my life for theirs so they could live as I often feel that I fight to live or even get through a half hour and they would he able to do more than I and they must live or be alive over me.
I feel very much guilt for having those feelings or asking if we can make decisions or have free will with everything else pertaining to life why not choosing when we can exit our physical bodies as death as that’s a part of life.
I know of two other people close to me who are experiencing almost identical exact feelings.
OMGosh, there must be something in the air as I’m very much resonating with all you share here. They understood exactly what I was struggling with, that is why I reckon anyone who has conversations just like this in their noggin needs a support group or people in their lifespan who understand what it’s like to be having one conversation with a friend at dinner while conducting a special one with the ADHD five year old inside your head that is incapable of joy. They got it. Known whenever as pointed out by the authors, therefore this rebuilding process gives you the opportunity, right down in the ‘microcircuitry’ of your new brain, to gradually shift the emotional shadings of your interior landscape. Whenever firing as many neurons as I can that they wire gether and become part of my memory, when I’m eating or showering or running or working and I hear the repetitive death thoughts, I try my very best to become the Buddha and let them go, while thinking of something positive.
Inadvertently, however, I’m feeding my homesick five year old another case of gummy bears that makes him more obnoxious than ever.
Applying the logic of this book, you could make the argument that I am creating the death thoughts by cultivating a breeding ground for them.
More I blame myself for them, as long as the more death thoughts I get. Then the self bashing goes on for about a couple of minutes and a half as we sit there. On p of this, I hurry up and laugh almost any three minutes or so, enough to seem engaged in what I’m supposed to be doing.
I’m striving to rework the neural passageways and feel terribly responsible for my depression, while I sit there pretending to be having a nice dinner.
I ld the group that by repeating a Buddhist aspiration, May my life be of benefit to all beings, that Tara Brach mentions in her book Radical Acceptance, I feel relieved of the pressure to enjoy life.
I just have to be of benefit to someone somehow. Basically, that, more than any other nugget I’ve gleaned in the 10 selfhelp books I’ve read this month, quiets the ‘five year old’. While as pointed out by this wisdom, I don’t necessarily have to feel or enjoy, or form any positive neural passageway. Doing What I Can I feel in unison as you do and know all so well what you are saying and have had parallel thoughts or if there was a higher power why haven’t my requests, prayers, petitions to die been answered?